my wild ass animal stories
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my encounter with bullwinkle

one day i was walkin along in the safari with some zulu friends then we saw a big ass moose and started throwin shit at it it got mad and started chasing us so then i got it to stop and i rubbed its horns it began to like us and rolled over and wanted me to touch it but i said hell no so i got a stick and rubbed it then it saw a bear and wanderd off and fuckin the bear and shit so the zulu tribe got mad and threw its spears at it it started to chase us and ran us up a tree since the moose couldnt get us in the tree we all laughed but it was standing at the bottom so we couldnt get down so then i came up with a plan to jump on it and ride it like a dolphin the zulus didnt know what a dolphin was so i explained it to them then by the time i was done explaining the moose pissed on the tree so then we had no choice but to jump it so we jumped it and started beating the shit out of it and i kicked it in the face once then the fucking dumb ass moose ran away so we went home heros that beat the shit out of a pissing moose

the end

fucking birds

one day in trig i looked up and realized that two birds were fuckin in the window the fat ass bird always got on top of the skinny one so i wandered why everyday i would watch because birds fucking in the window just facinate me that is why i almost failed trig i was fucking distracted then i did some research and found out that the reason the big fat ass got on top of the little skinny one was because it added more pressure which added more pleasure now my 5th favorite animal is a bird since i have seen that my favorite bird is tucan sam cause he has a long as beak no tellin what he puts in there

shamoo and friends

one day i had a dream that i went swimming with shamoo but it wasnt me i was a dolphin we splashed around and did all those flips and shit that dolphins and whales do then we talked about why they make goldfish and dont make whale and dolphin fish were they racist or something we wanted a baked lightly salted cracker in the shape of us too then shamoo saw a kid pointing and laughing at him so he jumped out of the water and walked over to the kid and trippied him and then pointed and laughed at him so i thought maybe i can walk too so i jumped out and hit the concrete and couldnt get up so  i just flopped around and died and then i dont know what happend cause i woke up

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